Build Your Boundaries

I said “No.” I said “No,” and for the very first time – maybe ever – I didn’t feel bad about it. You see, my nature, by genetics and maybe by nurture I am (definitely by default) what therapists would call a “people pleaser.” I hate to be hated. I hate when another is upset with me or angry because of something I did (or worst, yet) didn’t do. But not today!

Today, despite the fact I initially said “Yes,” said “Yes” to a commitment I had no business making – I changed my mind. (cringe!) I simply was spread to thin. Now, being stretching in multiple directions simultaneously is a common acrobatic talent I’ve acquired over time, but I’m starting to feel the effects and I want to remain strong for the things and PEOPLE in my life which matter the most. So, I said “No” in order to be a better version of myself later that day when the priority was higher. At least in my world – and at the end of the day – if you aren’t respecting yourself and your own priorities – than what good are you really doing. What’s in for you?

I know, it does sound selfish. But I know in my core that I am the furthest thing from. In fact, I’d bet my last dollar that if you polled 100 people nearly 100-percent would agree. Yet, I still struggle with the worry I’m letting another down.

Welcome to my blog! This is my very first post in a series of bi-monthly essays I plan to put out to help inspire, influence and ignite your inner fire so that you pull yourself out of a rut or the feeling that you’re in a stalemate. I will lead (or share) by example. It’s time to embrace the pause. Embrace it so that you can reflect, revitalize and revamp yourself into the person you wish to become or evolve into.

The world around us changes day-by-day. So, we must adapt or become extinct. Sometimes that means adjusting the knob so that we are more streamlined with the way our career path is going, sometimes it means hijacking the path altogether and paving a new road and sometimes it simply means omitting something off a very full and overflowing plate of responsibilities. We all have something to alter. And today, for me, my alteration was my attitude. I opted to put Mindie’s needs ahead of an organization’s (and one that I have to say I was honored to be asked to be involved in). It wasn’t easy but I did it. I can’t promise I’ll do the same when confronted with a similar circumstance I’m sure much sooner than later, but this baby-step cleared a little bit of the path for the future. And sometimes that’s all you need your pause to accomplish. Baby steps lead to strides and strides lead to leaps. Take a baby step toward some sort of essential “intermission” today too.

If this blog helped you – let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts – good or bad. I’m working on the “need to please,” remember? 😊